我比赛用的演讲稿，要英语的叙事故事（最好幽默点），或者小笑话也行，意译，不要直译 3分钟左右，跪求！

如题所述

A 20-yr old pretty, sexy and sensual girl went to see a psychiatrist. 'Doctor, I'm so angry at my boyfriend that I must call him Bastard. I feel that he's gone too far, and he deserves it.' 'Hmm? Such a word is strong and rude. But may be you have your own reasons. Tell me about it so that I can help you.' 'Yes, thank you, Doctor. There was one night...we parked our car besides the beach and we were alone... and... he held my hand....' 'Did he hold your hand like this?' 'Yes, Doctor. Exactly like how you're holding it now' 'If it's only this, he doesn't deserve to be called Bastard. It means he doesn't want to be separated from you.' 'Then, he leaned his body towards me... and hugged me...' 'Like this?' 'Yes, Doctor. Exactly like how you're doing.' 'It's not a Bastard. It means he wanna stay forever by your side' 'Then he kissed me...' 'Like this?' 'Yes, Doctor. Exactly like how you're kissing me.' 'If its only a kiss like this, seriously you can't call him Bastard. it means he adores you.' 'Then he put his hands inside my clothes and touched my boobs, Doc...' 'Like this?' 'Yes, Doctor... exactly like that' 'It's not behavior of a bastard. It means he wants to protect you.' 'Then he took off all my clothes... slowly... ' 'Did you resist?' 'No. I let him do it, coz I love him...' 'Did he take off your clothes like this?' 'Yes, Doctor. Until I'm completely naked like now......' 'He still doesn't deserve to be called 'Bastard, because it means he wanna learn about your body completely.' 'Then he kissed me and put his.... inside me and had sex with me...' ....................... 'Did he do it just like what we do?' 'Yes, Doctor. Exactly the same' 'You still can't call him Bastard. It means he needs you.' 'But then he told me that he has AIDS' All the staff and patients outside heard the doctor screaming,' BASTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRD!'

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