求英文改错，这是我写的歌词，看看英文语法、表达上面有没有错误。恳请大神指教？

只是朋友 just a friend

词 曲 演唱 方白杨
Lyrics/melody/singer fong pei young

In this days i'm desolate
I can see is your tears and kiss him
What i testify the things you never trust
You said to me it's a guilty that to be lovers
yulu,oh,if loving dew is rainy crime
You didn't know how much it hurts
Why am i tear up my heart
Don't wanna touch memory and your smile
I really fear it would be last for my prayer

I don't want to let you go
Though you said it's time to break in
Yes,i'm heartbreak for you said will marry him
You exhort we are just a friend
Will I ever tolerate?I'm coming back
For the sake of being your man

Try again to redeem you
In your faces you decided live in autumn
Who catch you instead of sad disillusion
Until i be strong and i give you what you want
Someone always shows starry night in rainy dream
I don't wanna go even if it's dangerous
Crossing river and i'm on the run
But torn everything apart ,i still can't
Escape fallen flowers
Where we promised be forever and kiss inconsolable rainy day
I believe a part of you is my all life
Don't just a friend
Every day i try to carry on
I keep making believe you never fade away
When you married him,i hurt my pride
Is it end,just a friend
Baby,i beg you to come back
Never again,i don't want just be a friend
Just my tears be my love in tonight
Waiting for the winds and dandelions
But dance in my world,it just a sadness
I think a twice,you gone with autumn
What i remains is living to love you
Maybe there is no eternity,
Maybe there is cruel fairy tale，
I just dance and sing for you
For my last tendresse
For my best friend
Oh,no baby

In this day i'm desolate
All I can see is your tears and wondering why
What i testify the things you never trust
You said to me it's a guilty that to be lovers
yulu,oh,if loving dew is rainy crime
You didn't know how much it hurts
Why am i tearing up my heart
Don't wanna touch memory and your smile
I really fear it would be last for my prayer

I don't want to let you go
Though you said it's time to break up
Yes,i'm heartbroken when you said would marry him
You abuse we are just a friend
Will I ever tolerate?I'm coming back
For the sake of being your man

Try again to redeem you
In your faces you decided tbat in autumn
Who catches you instead of sad disillusion
Until i am strong and can give you what you want
Someone always dreams a night full of stars even it's raining
I don't wanna go dangerous or not
Crossing river and i'm on the run
But tearing everything apart, i still can't
Escape the sad feeling of fallen flowers
Where we promised be forever together and kiss in a rainy night with no stars
I believe a part of you is my all life
Don't just be a friend
Every day i try to carry on
I keep believing you never fade away
When you married him, it hurted my pride
Is it the end? Just a friend
Baby,i beg you to come back
Never ever,i don't want to be just a friend
Just my tears be my love in tonight
Waiting for the winds and dandelions
But dance in my world,it just a sadness
I think a twice,you gone with autumn
What i remains is living to love you
Maybe there is no eternity,
Maybe there is cruel fairy tale，
I just dance and sing for you
For my last tendresse
For my best friend
Oh,no baby追问

请问这首歌词有语法错误吗？望指教

追答

有，但我都给改了，除了最后几句：

But dance in my world, just filled with sadness
I thooght you would be gone with autumn
What remains with me is living to love you
Maybe there is no eternity
Only cruel and bitter fairy tale，
I just dance and sing for you
For my last tendresse
For my best friend
Oh,no baby

追问

是什么？能明说吗？大神。我在学习英语，希望不吝赐教

追答

你只需比较一下你写的 和 我改的就知道了。 比如， 第一小段

你的
In this days i'm desolate
I can see is your tears and kiss him
What i testify the things you never trust
You said to me it's a guilty that to be lovers
yulu,oh,if loving dew is rainy crime
You didn't know how much it hurts
Why am i tear up my heart
Don't wanna touch memory and your smile
I really fear it would be last for my prayer

我的 改动的地方用括号来注明
In this (day) i'm desolate
All I can see is your tears and (wondering why)
What i testify the things you never trust
You said to me it's a guilty that to be lovers
yulu,oh,if loving dew is rainy crime
You didn't know how much it hurts
Why am i (tearing) up my heart
Don't wanna touch memory and your smile
I really fear it would be last for my prayer

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