谁能帮我批改一下英语作文啊,很急滴※

※我的英语作文(高二的)※
帮忙批改一下,很急!谢谢!
A Story Of Me
I am a high school student,I have studied in this young school
for amost two years.(our school has just set up three years.)I made five friends when I just came into this high school ,moreover,they both live in the same quarter with me.I’m very happy that I have never made so many friends,I feel I am the happist person in the word at that time.
Look back three years,I failed the final exam(entrance exam of high school),I only got five handred and thirty nine in the important exam,so I coul-
--d‘t go to the key senior school I am very sad but my parents always com-
-forted me for my failure.My mother said that “I think you are great!because
you love painting and you want to come into a great art college so you have
not enough time to take good review I’m very happy that you got this result
so don’t worry now!”
Afterwords I came into this high school,it is an art school.Now my life in the art school is coming…

one of my stories
i am a high school student and have studied in the young school for almost two years which set up only for three years.when i first entered the school,i had made five friends ,moreover,all of them lived in the same dormitory with me.it made me happy that i had never made so many friends,i sensed i was the happiest person in the world at that time.
three years ago,i failed the exam,entrance for senior-level middle school.only 539 grades in such important examination,thus i couldn't attend the key high school.however,my parents always comforted me for my failure,mom told;i think u are great!u are fond of painting ,dream of entering in a great arts college,they cost your much time so u have no enough time to review.i am happy with your achivement now.just take it easy.don't worry about it.;
afterwards,i came here,an art high school.now,my new life is advancing me...
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第1个回答  2008-11-10
有些散,总体来说不错,建议你举个例子,否则就换个题目。我是个英语老师,打分的话, 90吧
第2个回答  2008-11-10
不错啊

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