Parish of St Mary, Harrington
Pantomime Script
Here you find the script of the Cinderella pantomime we put on. If you find anything you can use, just go ahead and use it. All we ask is that you let us know if you have found this script helpful for anything you are doing by contacting us.
Also available: Robin Hood pantomime Script
Snow White and the 7 Aliens
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Cinderella
written by Judith Dixon
Opening Song
Scene 1 – the Kitchen
Cinderella is ironing and singing with mice.
Cinderella At last I have nearly finished all this work. Maybe I’ll be able to sneak out and have a walk (Stretching) I haven’t had a break since 5 this morning and I’d love some fresh air.
Mother (off stage) There’s so much to do, where is that girl?
Exit mice, frightened.
Cinderella Oh dear here comes my stepmother and her gorgeous daughters Hyacinth and Rose. So much for a break, it’ll be more chores for Cinders as usual I’m afraid.
Enter Mother and ugly sisters
Mother Have you finished the ironing yet?
Cinderella Almost, I was just…
Mother Well hurry up, we’ve got visitors coming and the drawing room needs to be hoovered and dusted.
Hyacinth And the silver polished and we’ll be wanting tea and drop scones and chocolate cake and cucumber sandwiches at 3.45 precisely.
Rose Who is coming for tea? Is it young single man with a delicious body or even an old single man or …
Hyacinth Oh Rose, not every man who enters this house is a suitor for you.
Rose Oh yes he is!
Hyacinth and others Oh no he’s not!
Rose Oh yes he is!
Hyacinthetc Oh no he’s not!
Rose Well OK maybe not every man!
Hyacinth You must behave with a bit of decorum, men like a lady who knows how to entertain. I shall show our guest that this is a house of dignity and style, Cinderella, the Wedgwood tea set of course!
Rose But Hyacinth, at my age it is not natural to be without romance. I have such yearnings! When I was with that Barry, he would buy me flowers and take me to restaurants. He complimented me and made me feel so feminine. It was so tragic that the relationship had to end.
Hyacinth Yes, a pity he found his glasses after only a week. Still don’t be down hearted dear, there are all sorts of eligible men for us both and I don’t intend to let any more slip away. I’ll do what ever it takes! (Rubs her hands together greedily)
Rose Well Mummy, who is coming for tea? Is it worth digging out that mini skirt or can I get away with the slacks?
Mother The Prince’s friend Dandini is coming to discuss some business with your father, so I had better be there to keep them right, your father is such a muddle head!
Rose Definitely the mini skirt, and maybe a boob tube.
Cinderella You don’t want to frighten him, poor man!
Hyacinth Gracious, a palatial visitor. Perhaps we’d better have the silver tea set. I must check we’ve got the quilted toilet tissue, just in case.
Cinderella Excuse me, I’ve rather a lot to do and unless you’re going to help…
Exit sisters and mother quickly making shocked/busy noises.
OK, I’ll do it all myself, as usual.
But Dandini, that is quite exciting. I wonder what Daddy will be discussing with him.
Enter Buttons with a football.
Buttons Hello Cinders (tries to kiss her but she dodges him with the ironing basket) You busy?
Cinderella No, I just felt like doing all this laundry for fun! What’s with the football?
Buttons I’ve been discovered – Your father spotted me having a kick about in the yard last week and he reckons I’ve got some talent.
Cinderella Of course you’ve got talent – ever since you scored that last minute equaliser in the match between the Red Dragon and the Brewery House…
Buttons It was great wasn’t it. Anyway, Baron Stoneybroke, your father, is going to be my personal manager. He’s having meetings with the coach of the Palace team to see if I can have a trial.
Cinderella Ah… the coach of the Palace team isn’t Dandini is it?
Buttons Yes – how did you know?
Cinderella Because he’s coming here for tea this afternoon at (imitates Hyacinth) 3.45 precisely!
Buttons Oh wow! Hey Cinders, can I serve the tea… please, please!
Cinderella I don’t know, Buttons, you know how clumsy you can be, do you think it’s such a great idea? You’ll probably drop the scones.
Buttons I thought they liked drop scones! Oh, I’ll be careful. Please.
Cinderella Oh all right, but on your head be it. Now off you go, I’ve got work to do! Where’s that flour…
Scene 2- at the palace
Jones Pray silence for their Royal Highnesses His Majesty King Rufus of Harrington and his beauteous Queen Hermione.
King (aside to servant as he enters) Have you heard the score?
Jones (whispers) Only 7-0 Your Majesty, our goalkeeper is improving!
(The King looks pleased!)
Queen Rufus, do try to enter your throne room properly. The villagers will gossip.
King We really do need to scout for some new talent.
Queen What do you care if the maidservants are ugly?
King No dear, football talent! Our Palace team is a laughing stock. We are doing well this morning as we are only 7-0 down at half time! And that is against Harrington Under 10s!
Queen Well you should discuss it with Dandini, you know. Call him now Jones.
There is another matter we need to sort out… Prince William’s marriage.
King Oh good is he marrying that singer, what’s her name British Queers?… Britley Steers?
Queen Good Heavens no, but he hasn’t actually found anyone else either and if he leaves it any longer it’ll be too late. All the nice girls will be taken. I have an idea!
King Oh no dear not another Royal Blind date! Cilla Black will refuse to do it after the last time when William refused to pick any of the girls, declaring that they were all obviously ghastly or they wouldn’t have agreed to go on such a silly program in the first place!
Queen This time it will be less public! We’ll have an enormous ball and invite all the most glamorous ladies in the land. I’ll let “Hello” magazine know and the “Times and Star” of course…
King That does sound a bit public, but it is a good idea none-the-less.
Enter Prince William in footy kit and Dandini
Dandini Hail Your Majesty! (Bows low before the King)
William Hello Mum, Dad… Urm Hail (nods and kind of waves)
King Well what was the final score?
Dandini Not too bad actually, we played much better in the second half!
King What was the score?
Dandini Oh numbers don’t mean a thing. The game was taught and they kept on running for at least … 15 minutes.
William If only we had some more young blood in the team. George Bowness and the lads from the Tuesday working party are very skillful with a ball, but the Under 10s were running through their legs!
King Dandini, tell me the score!
Dandini 15-0, your Majesty.
King 15 – 0! Oh dear it’s so embarrassing. Beaten by a bunch of kids, whatever next? Listen Dandini, there’s a match on Friday, against the Scouts. This is your last chance. I’m not a violent man, but we win that match or you’ll be …(gestures a knife stabbing Dandini repeatedly)
Dandini OK! OK, I get the picture. Leave it to me your Majesty.
Queen William, my dear, we’ve arranged a real treat for you. A little party on Friday night, well an enormous ball actually. We’ll invite all the most beautiful girls in the land and you only have to choose one.
William Only one, huh.
Dandini At least you know they won’t turn you down.
William They’re not allowed to. What chance have I got of finding one who actually likes me?
King They don’t have to like you, they just have to live with you. Poor girl, whoever she is she will have her hands full.
Scene 3 - In a sports shop
Cinderella is selecting football boots with salesman.
Cinderella I’m not saying money is no object, but I do want to get good ones.
Salesman Well these ones are the best at £150. And they have the designer label. But these ones are good too at £15.99, but they don’t have a designer label.
Cinderella Well what is the difference between them?
Salesman Urm… well these ones have this fantastic designer label you see.
Cinderella OK. So if I don’t care about the label are they just the same?
Salesman Oh no! Because these ones have the designer label of course!
Cinderella Right I think I understand. Thank you.
Salesman I’ll let you decide, shall I.
Enter Prince William to choose some boots
William Now which boots will improve my game? (Picks up designer boots)
Cinderella Do you know anything about these? I want to buy some for my friend Buttons who is trying out for a place on a big team. I just don’t know which ones to choose.
William (aside) She’s so beautiful! (To Cinderella) Well it depends how seriously he takes his football.
Cinderella (aside) He’s gorgeous, but he’s gone for the expensive ones so he must be a big football star. He won’t be interested in a scullery girl! (To William) Well, he lives for his football, it’s the only thing in his life!
William (aside) Obviously not the only thing – whoever this bloke Buttons is he’s got the perfect girlfriend.
(To Cinderella) He’s a lucky guy to have such a girl… er.. um.. talent!
Cinderella Well I’d better get these ones then. Thank you for your advice.
She goes to the till with the expensive boots.
William I’ve been looking for girls all this time and when I finally find the one I want she is going out with someone else.
Cinderella I’m all in a whirl, just from talking to him. I bet he plays for one of those premier teams. If only my sisters would let me watch TV, I’d probably recognise him.
Sing separately
Scene 4 – The kitchen
Enter Mother and Father
Father Now dear I have business with Mr Dandini and it really is no concern of yours.
Mother Don’t be ridiculous, Torquil, you can’t invite Palace officials to tea and not introduce your wife and daughters. He would consider it most rude.
Father Well, I suppose it wouldn’t harm to introduce you briefly.
Mother That’s right Darling. (To off stage) Girls, tea will be in the drawing room.
Enter ugly sisters
Hyacinth Well I should think so too. Imagine entertaining Mr Dandini in the kitchen.
Rose What about the decorators Mummy? That Laurence Llewellyn Bowen is still working on the Drawing Room.
Mother What? He’s been in there for three weeks.
Rose Yes, (rubbing her hands) I’m still working on him.
Hyacinth It’ll have to be Parlour then.
father Oh no my train set is laid out in there.
Mother You’ll be laid out in a minute. Laid out flat.
Rose We could use the Conservatory.
Mother Oh dear I’ve been flower arranging in there and there are petals everywhere. Well short of serving tea in the bedroom, we’d better tell Cinders to tidy the kitchen.
Father My dearest Cinderella always keeps the kitchen tidy. Anyway she’s gone out. She said Buttons would be serving tea this afternoon.
Hyacinth Tea in the kitchen!
Rose Buttons serving! This is humiliating!
Hyacinth I was so looking forward to it.
Rose I have a headache
Hyacinth I have indigestion.
Both We’re going to bed!
Exit ugly sisters sobbing.
Enter Buttons with Dandini
Father Mr Dandini, I’m so pleased to welcome you to my beautiful, er um humble home. Please sit down. May I present my wife Clarissa.
Mother I’m sorry to say that my two daughters are ill disposed, or well just ill actually, and won’t be able to join us.
Buttons Thank goodness. A blessing Sir I assure you.
Dandini I’m sorry to hear that, but this is not a social call, I’m here on business. I believe you have a proposal for me.
Father Indeed I have Sir. I have discovered a talent for football.
Dandini Right, we have quite a lot of players of your ..er.. generation Sir. I was really looking for someone younger.
Buttons (laughing) Not him, oh no, that’s funny. He can’t kick a ball!
Father What my young protégé is trying to say, is that I am not speaking of my own talent but of his.
Dandini Who you?
Buttons has got a ball and is showing off
Buttons Yessir. I play non-stop and could score past fifty David Seamans, just give me a chance to show you.
Dandini Careful, oh you’ve squashed my hat!
Father I would be prepared to let you have him for five big ones!
Dandini Five pounds you say, well we could perhaps give him a trial.
Father Five thousand pounds I mean.
Buttons squeals and spills the tea he was pouring, all over Dandini.
Dandini Ow - what are trying to do? Five thousand pounds, are you mad?
Mother Here let me just wipe that off.
Dandini escapes as they all fuss after him.
Father That didn’t go as well as I’d hoped.
Mother I should think not!
Buttons What were you thinking - £5000?
Father What about you, pouring tea over him?
Buttons Well that’s my career over.
Father You’re right about that, you can pack your bags and leave this house tomorrow. Idiot.
And that’s our holiday plans ruined.
Mother You mean we needed that money for our trip to St Tropez.
Father Of course, your daughters dresses have cleaned us out, we haven’t a penny to spare.
Scene5 – At a bus stop
Buttons This is my last chance now that I’ve ruined things with Dandini.
Cinderella Oh Buttons, do you have to go all the way to Manchester?
Buttons Your father has fired me so I have nothing to keep me here!
Cinderella Nothing? Buttons your friendship means everything to me, and I shall miss you so much.
Buttons Cinderella, If there is more than friendship between us, I’ll stay here. Just say the word… you know I’d give up any old football for your love.
Cinderella Oh Buttons, you’re like a brother to me, but I can’t make myself feel what I don’t and your trial for Manchester United is so important. I know it’s not Harrington Palace, but it’s the next best thing! I got you these. (She gives him the football boots)
Buttons Cinders these are great, how did you know? These are the best!
Cinderella Oh someone helped me.
Buttons Someone special?
Cinderella Well, he was kind of amazing I have to admit, but I’ll probably never see him again so…
Buttons I hope he’s good enough for you, if anyone ever hurt you I’d…
Cinderella I know, I know…but not everyone has such exalted feelings about me, you know. Anyway, you’ll miss your bus.
Buttons Then it’s goodbye. Can I have a hug?
Enter Prince
Cinderella hugs Buttons and kisses his cheek.
Cinderella Take care, and come back soon my dear.
Prince It’s her, and this must be Buttons. They’re obviously in love. Oh well, I’ll just have to try my luck at the ball.
Exit Buttons
Cinderella notices the Prince and wipes her eyes.
Cinderella Oh hello again.
William Hello, I suppose that was Buttons.
Cinderella Yes, but he’s leaving for Manchester. I’ll miss him so much.
William Leaving? How could he leave you? You poor child, you need a shoulder to cry on, come here. There, there, don’t cry.
He puts his arms round her. Both are smiling but without the other seeing.
William I don’t even know your name.
Cinderella I’m Cinderella.
William I’m William, I live just outside town at the pa… by the woods.
Cinderella How lovely, I like to walk there and see the Palace. Have you ever met any of the royal family? I saw the Queen on a walk about once.
William Oh I see them around occasionally.
Mother’s voice off stage
Mother Cinderella, where are you girl? Come here at once.
Cinderella Oh I have to go, excuse me William.
Exit Cinderella
William See you soon Cinderella. I hope.
Scene 6 – At a football pitch
Dandini enters followed by 4 players in mismatched football strip
Dandini Right you lot, we’ve an important match on Friday and we have some training to get in. Let me see you in pairs dribbling round these cones. No I mean dribbling the ball!
They bump into each other and the balls get mixed up.
No.1 pass the ball to No. 2, no, not into the bushes. No 3 , can you watch where you’re going, careful, oh no.
They fall in a heap.
No 1 That was better than last week.
No 2 Yes, we are showing improvement.
No 3 Is it time for a break yet?
Dandini No no no! No breaks until you can do it right! Start again.
No 1 Did you see Brookside last night?
Dandini This is not a time for chatter! You should be so out of breath you can’t talk!
No 2 No, I missed it, I was taking Dolores to the Bingo.
No 4 My missus loves bingo, wouldn’t miss it. I have to take her down so I stay on to keep her company.
No 3 It’s grand for the ladies isn’t it. Mind you, I won a tenner last week.
No 2 That’s nothing, I won a hundred in May, Legs Eleven is my lucky number.
By now they are just standing chatting, Dandini is looking at his fixtures book.
Dandini What is going on? This is supposed to be a training session, not a bingo anonymous meeting.
No 1 Oh calm down Dandy, we’ll be fine on Friday.
Dandini Fine? Like you were fine last week, or the week before that? And don’t call me Dandy! Oh no here comes trouble.
Enter 2 scouts
Scout 1 Hi you lot, are you training for the match?
Scout 2 We were out last night. We ran 8 miles and put in 2 hours of skill work.
Dandini 8 miles? This lot haven’t even walked 8 miles between them in the last year.
Scout 1 Well I’m sure what you lack in fitness you make up for in experience.
The scouts start to dribble the balls round the players, who huddle up as though they were prisoners.
Scout 2 Yeah, our team are trembling in case your experience scores a goal.
Scout 1 We’ve some experience of our own, we are unbeaten this season you know after 10 games.
More Scouts join them and kneel along the front of the stage to sing “We’re riding along on the crest of a wave”
Player 1 Hey is this a pantomime or a gang show? We can sing too you know, (aside)it’s just football we have problems with. Why don’t we try out this Harrington song. You’ll find it on the back of the programmes? (To audience) You can join in if you know the tune.
All sing Harrington song.
Scout 1 OK. We’ll see who can sing the best. We’ll take this side and you can have that lot. We’ll go first.
Right side sing.
Scout 1 That was fantastic. (Throws sweets to right side.)
Player 1 Now it’s our turn.
Left side sing.
Player 1
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