An old gentleman whose eyesight was failing came to stay in a hotel room with a bottle of wine in each hand. On the wall there was a fly which he took for a nail. So the moment he hung them on, the bottles fell broken and the wine spilt all over the floor. When a waitress discovered what had happened, she showed deep sympathy for him and decided to do him a favour.
So the next morning when he was out taking a walk in the roof garden, she hammered a nail exactly where the fly had stayed.
Now the old man entered his room. The smell of the spilt wine reminded him of the accident. When he looked up at the wall, he found the fly was there again! He walked to it carefully adn slapped it with all his strength. On hearing a loud cry, the kind-hearted waitress rushed in. To her great surprise, the poor old man was there sitting on the floor, his teeth clenched and his right hand bleeding!
钉子还是苍蝇？
一位视力正在衰退的老绅士住进了一家旅馆的客房。他双手各拿一瓶酒。在墙上有只苍蝇，他误以为是枚钉子。他把两只瓶子朝上一挂，瓶子掉下来摔碎了，酒洒了一地。一个女服务员发现发生的事情以后，对他深表同情，决定帮他个忙。
于是，第二天早上他到楼顶花园散步时，她把一枚钉子钉在了苍蝇停过的地方。
这里，老人回到了房里。倒洒的酒味让他想起了那件事。他抬头往墙上一看，苍蝇又停在了那儿!他轻手轻脚地走近，使尽全力拍了一掌。听到一声大叫，好心的女服务员冲进房来。让她大为吃惊的是，可怜的老头正坐在地板上，牙关紧咬，右手滴血不止。
The Beat Salesman in the World
Harry saw an ad in a window. It said: "Wanted. The Best Sales- man in the World. Top Pay."
" I' m a great salesman." Harry told himself." I can sell anything. I'll go in and ask for that job."
He went into the building and spoke to the manager.
"I'm the best salesman in the world," he said. "Give me the job. "
"You must prove you're the best," the manager said.
"I'll pass every test you give me." Harry told him.
"Good."
The manager took a box of candy out of his desk .
Last week, I bought a thousand boxes of this candy. If you can sell them all before the end of the week, you can have the job.
"That's easy," Harry said.
He took the box of candy and left the office.
Every day and all day, he went from shop to shop, trying to sell boxes of the candy .
He couldn't sell one.
The candy was so bad he couldn't even give it away.
At the end of the week he went back to the manager.
"I'm sorry, sir, " he said," I was wrong about myself . I'm not the best salesman in the world, but I know who is.
"Oh," said the manager. "Who?"
"The person who sold you a thousand boxes of this candy, " Harry said.
世界上最好的售货员
哈里在橱窗上看到一则广告。上面写着：“招聘世界上最好的售货员，报酬优厚。”
“我是一名了不起的售货员，”哈里自言自语，“任何东西我都能卖出去，我要进去应聘这份工作。”
他走进大楼去和经理说这件事。
“我是世界上最好的售货员，”他说，“把这件工作给我吧。”
“你必须证明你是最好的，”经理说。
“我会通过你给我的每一次考验的。”哈里告诉他。
“好。”
经理从桌子里取出一箱糖果。
“我上星期买了一千箱这种糖果。如果你能在周末之前把这些全卖出去，你就能得到这份工作。”
“这很简单。”哈里说。
他拿着这箱糖果离开了办公室。
每天从早到晚，他从这家店走到那家店，竭力想卖出一千箱糖果。
结果他一箱也没卖出去。
糖果质量太差，以至于送人都没人要。
周末他回去见经理。
“很抱歉，先生，”他说，“我搞错了。我不是世界上最好的售货员，但我知道谁是最好的。”
“哦，”经理问，“是谁？”
“是把这一千箱糖果卖给你的人，”哈里说。
* 老爸一直以追到有校花之称的老妈而自豪,
* 但每次讲到掳获老妈芳心的致命关键的一封英文情书，
* 老妈都笑的前俯后仰，经过我们一再催逼,
* 老妈终于拿出老爸当年写给她的情书,
* 看了真的是OH! MY GOD,很有一套喔!
* 请注意英文部份
>
* Dear wang litte sister:
* 亲爱的王小姐
* From see you one eye,I shit love you.
* 自从看到你的第一眼,我便爱上你。
* Your eyes close, I die; your eyes open, I come back to live.
* Your eyes close and open again and again, I die again and again.
* 你的眼睛闭上，我就死了，你的眼睛打开，我又活过来，
* 你的眼睛贬啊贬,我就死去活来?
* Maybe you do not remember me, no matter.
* When you carefully look at me, you will one see clock.
* 也许你不记得我,没有关系,当你仔细看着我，你就会一见钟情.
* I think l should introduce myself to you.
* 我想应该介绍一下自己。
* I call Li big great. Toyear 25
* 我叫李大伟,今年25(今天是today,那么今年就是toyear.至于伟就翻成great吧 ！)
* My home have four mouth people-papa, mama, I and DD.
* 我家有四口人..爸爸、妈妈、我和弟弟。
* I am a good man, in a big company work.
* 我是一个好男人，在一家大公司上班。
* I do early fuck every day,so that I can have strong body to protect you.
* 我每天都做早操，这样我会有强壮的身体来保护你。
* Please come to eat and sleep with me, or I will cut my hair to be a
monk,
* and find a place where many monks live in to over mylife;
* 请嫁给我吧,否则我将削发为僧,找个庙来了此一生。
* (实在想不起「嫁」字怎么翻译，好在头脑灵光,嫁过来不就是和我吃住在一起。
* 至于「庙」字,也不会翻译，不过很多和尚住在一起的地方，就是庙。)
* Like Your people
* 喜欢你的人
* .........原来"做早操"的英文是"make early > > fuck"...................
参考资料：http://04yaomao2.99927.com/index_3.asp?xxpxddd=155604&xxpxccc=372599
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